Saturday, March 15, 2008

A study of Bach

Earlier today, I decided that I had grown tired of my heart.  So I had it replaced with a mouse.  

I went to the doctor.  He pressed his stethoscope against my chest and he looked concerned.  

"What's wrong, Doctor?" I asked.  
He answered, "Your heart is squeaking."  
"That is because it is not my heart, it is a mouse."  
"Ah," he replied.  

Monday, March 10, 2008

Content-Free

What is content-free blogging?  

It is love without death.  
Life without suffering.  
Peace without sorrow.  
Heaviness without seriousness.  
Cake without icing.  
Hot fudge without delicious.  
Snowballs without medicine.  

It is the feeling that you get when you open a newspaper and realize that you don't have your glasses on.  
It is the sensation of knowing everybody in a room except for one guy sitting in a corner.  
It is the revelation of delicious cheese.  

It is cheesecake without icing.  
It is hot fudge without suffering.  
It is heaviness without blogging.  

Something in another language would sound totally serious here.  
Like a puppy full of cement balloons.  
Like a metaphor that has run its course.  
Like a simile that has hijacked the metaphor.  
Like a blog-post that I don't know how to end without sounding too serious.  

You are nothing more or less than all of the words that you don't know how to spell.  

It is spelling without clogging.  
It is clogging without reason.  
It is reason without season.  
It is season without treason.  
It is treason without shmeason.  

Janet Jackson reads this blog.  What else do you have in common with Janet Jackson?